Skip to Content
News

U.S. Border Patrol May Start Using Robot ‘Terminator Dogs’ to Patrol the American Southwest

They've gone and done it. U.S. Customs and Border Protection has found a way to be even less humane.

Not content with horsemen swinging whips at desperate refugees and CBP agents destroying migrants' water supplies in the desert, now the agency finds itself absolutely salivating over the potential use of robot dogs to patrol the Southwest border.

These robot dogs, made by a company named Ghost Robotics, look much like the species of mechanical "smart" canine that lie at the root of human eradication in the Black Mirror episode titled "Metalhead."

In a troubling press release made even grosser by its liberal embrace of canine puns, the Department of Homeland Security sounds super turned on by the idea of this new technology, which "can assist with enhancing the capabilities of CBP personnel, while simultaneously increasing their safety downrange" in the harsh desert environment of the American Southwest.

The development comes at the behest of the Science and Technology Directorate, the R&D arm of Homeland Security working to develop James Bond-level equipment for the use of tormenting immigrants illegally trying to cross into the U.S.

A lot of creepy Orwellian talk follows, with palpable excitement over these 1oo-pound "quadruped mechanical reinforcements" "to force-multiply the CBP presence" while traversing "all types of natural terrain including sand, rocks, and hills, as well as human-built environments, like stairs."

Getting Amurica's xenophobic fears stoked, the document describes the work of patrolling the border as dangerous, also invoking drug and human smugglers, "criminal organizations, terrorists or hostile governments" and even—no they didn't—WMDs, to assure the same public and politicians who went rabid for an illegal war in Iraq will quickly leap aboard.

The missive notes that this project has been at least two and a half years in the making, with strenuous testing of the dogs' video-taking abilities, robot control capabilities, and maneuverability over varied terrain. The Army's Night Vision Division was brought in, as was the Electronic Sensors Directorate to equip them with sensors to sniff out chemical and nuclear weapons, all to ensure these suckers were war-ready and able to take down weary, dehydrated, desert-battered migrants with maximum scare factor.

Anyway, the breakdown continues, detailing what the dogs can do, how they were trained, and how they will 'keep us safe' from inevitable terror by harassing the already demonized immigrants who look like just our neighbors and/or grandparents. And it's all there to read yourself if you want to go and make yourself sick.

The long and short of it is the government has a scary new toy and will most likely keep scaring the shit out of us until they have a majority clamoring for these "Terminator dogs" in our streets and or quietly accepting/ignoring their growing presence in our busy everyday lives of Wordle playing and NFT buying.

Until the day they devour us all to become the only things still moving on Earth.

Stay in touch

Sign up for our free newsletter

More from L.A. TACO

‘This is Los Angeles:’ Family Behind El Burro at Placita Olvera Fight to Save 57 Years of Tradition and Culture

"It’s a huge part of L.A.'s identity," said Eugenia Nicole Macias. "We’re not going anywhere. Our grandmother raised us to make noise."

May 24, 2024

What To Eat This Weekend In L.A.: Sonoran-Style Chicharrón, Tikka Masala Fried Chicken, Japanese Curry Arancini, and ‘Flintstones Burgers’

Plus a breezy new restaurant in the South Bay, Guam-style barbecue at the races, smoked birria, and cassava tortillas. Here's where to eat this weekend from Cudahy to West Adams to Arcadia!

May 24, 2024

LAPD Officer Released on $30,000 Bond Following Arrest For Assault With a Deadly Weapon

A day after the incident the LAPD said in a statement that they were prompted to respond to the 8600 block of Belford Avenue after “a community member generated a radio call of an Assault with a Deadly Weapon.” Police later identified the suspect as “off-duty Officer Richard Podkowski.”

May 23, 2024

Downtown’s Aguascalientes-Style ‘Flying Gorditas’ Sell Out On The Street In Three Hours

The family behind this stand also owns a Mexican chile and spice import company , so their guisados taste remarkably fresh. Their gorditas have been so popular that they are opening a brick and mortar restaurant in East L.A. this Saturday.

May 23, 2024

This Peruvian Street-Style Fried Chicken Inside a 30-Year-Old Taquería Is the Valley’s Best-Kept Secret

“I'm very proud of bringing our food, Peruvian food, and the acceptance from our Mexican brothers,” says chef Omar Zavala, who is from Peru and took over Taqueria Juanito's with his wife, Carmen, five years ago.

May 22, 2024
See all posts