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The L.A. Taco Horoscope for December, 2018


Mercury. Image courtesy of NASA.

[dropcap size=big]Y[/dropcap]ahtzee? Dragon fruit? Axolotl? Yell your safewords, Angels, when Mercury leaves Retrograde (and takes its mayhem with it) December 6th. That same day a new moon in Ophiuchus presents a fun and dangerous new initiative. You will understand what James Brown meant by, “I don’t know karate but I know ka-razy.” Celebrate the Winter Solstice (December 21st) with two Mercury alignments; it joins passionate Antares at midnight and lucky Jupiter at 7 am, bringing serious romantic energy to the longest night of the year. On the 22nd, a full moon in Taurus keeps things cozy. This lunation steadies emotions, so you can relax this Holiday Season. The Zodiac celebrates New Year’s Eve by aligning the Moon with three planets: Venus, Jupiter and Mercury. See it for yourselves an hour before dawn on the 31st. This arrangement supports clear-heads, open hearts, good luck and emotional intelligence – not a bad way to kick off 2019.

Aries (March 21 – April 20)

Have things been a little tense at home, Ram? You can soon relax. Mercury leaves Retrograde in your Marriage House on the 6th, calming stormy seas. A new moon in your House of Transformation (same day) debuts a new you. This moon is associated with both fun and danger. So if things gets weird, don’t fight it and go with the psychedelic flow. When your ruling Mars aligns with mysterious Neptune in Aquarius (December 7th), occult powers are heightened – get yourself to the nearest botanica and do some candle shopping. Mid-month, Mars aligns with the Moon (also in Aquarius) triggering your love for a good fight. Don’t forget to pay for what you break that day. The celestial showstopper this month comes on New Year’s Eve, when the Moon aligns with three planets: Venus, Jupiter, and Mercury, an hour before the Sun rises on 2019. Power up, Mario. All the quartz wands in the Valley can't give this blast of energy. And the alignment is visible; go look east!

Taurus (April 21 – May 21)

The rumors are true; the Bull is a beast this December. Venus, planet of beauty, visits your House of Health on the 1st, supercharging your immunities right in time for cold season. Want more wellness news? Mercury goes direct in the same House – it leaves Retrograde motion December 6th. Health includes the head and the heart- so enjoy a happiness to match that beautiful body. On the 22nd, you host the full moon, steadying celestial emotions for the whole zodiac. Thanks! And on New Year’s Eve your ruling Venus aligns with the Moon, Jupiter, and Mercury an hour before dawn. Consider it a blessing for the new year. Planets are like chakras, when they align, emotions, love, luck and intelligence team up.   

Gemini (May 22 – June 21)

Gemini enjoys a heady December, thanks to cerebral Mercury making nice with important planets. On the 5th, it aligns with the Moon, linking your conscious and unconscious minds and unifying the Twins into a super-you. On the 6th, Mercury leaves Retrograde motion in your House of Love. This serious heart-opener will change your day, your month, your everything. Mid-month, the Geminids Meteor shower radiates from your House of Self – it peaks on the 13th – as you go further into goddess mode. Other signs benefit from sparkling insights too. Wrapping up the month and year, your ruling Mercury aligns with the Moon, Venus, and Jupiter an hour before dawn on New Year’s Eve, aligning your heart, your mind, your emotional intelligence, and your good fortune. Prepared to glow.

Venus - Computer Simulated Global View. Via NASA.
Venus - Computer Simulated Global View. Via NASA.

Cancer (June 22 – July 22)

Cancer, meet love. Your ruling moon aligns with Venus twice this month, first on the 3rd in your communication sector, and again on New Year’s Eve. When you fight the good fight without hate in your heart, you have a better chance of winning. Fight on. Love hard. On the 8th, your moon eclipses Saturn in your Marriage House. This Occultation is powerful! Common sense is temporarily hidden and you can be a bit of a buzzkill, but only briefly. Your New Year’s Eve should be off the hook, planetarily speaking. Four planets align: The Moon, Venus, Mercury, and Jupiter. This is the zodiac’s equivalent of all cherries on a slot machine, and it’s a really good sign for 2019. Operate as your best self this year, in terms of emotional intelligence, expansive love, wise decision-making, and good luck.  

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

Mercury Retrograde Ends! The Lion feels the release in his House of Communication. This position supports psychological insight, so if you can analyze yourself without beating yourself up, do it. A new moon in wild Ophiuchus (your Creativity House) delivers nonconformist ideas. Keep the mayhem fun and go with it. Don’t struggle. Don’t over analyze. Don’t forget to smile. Your ruling Sun knocks off early on the 21st when the Winter Solstice brings the shortest day of the year to your House of Work. Shortest day means longest night, good for snuggling. On New Year’s Eve enjoy the four-way planetary alignment (Moon, Venus, Jupiter, and Mercury) one hour before sunrise. This should fire up your chakras. Dissipate that fire on the dance floor.

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

The Virgin is demure this month. On the 3rd, your ruling Venus aligns with the Moon in your House of Self- supporting sensitivity and tact. Spread love like it grows on trees. And remember that the things that truly matter aren’t things. Mercury leaves Retrograde on the 6th and goes Direct in your Money House. Enjoy some extra cash right in time for the holidays. On the 29th, your sign hosts the last quarter moon in Virgo. Tie up loose ends, finish your holiday shopping and conserve your strength. Beauty-rest, kids – go get some. On the 31st enjoy a four-way planetary alignment to ring in 2019: Mercury, the Moon, Venus, and Jupiter are having a party. Let the positivity carry you through another trip around the sun.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

The scales host the party this Holiday Season. On the first of the month, your ruling planet Venus makes a sacred angle with the Sun (greatest elongation).   Feel comfortable in your own skin and on more subtle levels of self. When Venus aligns with the Moon in your Marriage House, December 3rd, love is forefront on the Homefront. Snuggle up, buttercup. Mercury leaves Retrograde in your sign December 6th, energizing you and raising confidence. Actually, Mercury hangs out in Libra all month, clearing your mind so you can think straight. Don’t think too hard though – it is overrated. Oh, and four planets align on the 31st, including yours, when Venus, the Moon, Mercury, and Jupiter usher in 2019. The planets are tired of recent earthling shenanigans, and lend love, smarts, caring, and luck to the coming year. You can’t beat that with a bat. Happy New Year, kids.

A color photo of Mars
Mars. Image via NASA
Mars. Image via NASA

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

Shit’s about to get weird, Scorpion, but not in a bad way. First and foremost, Mercury Leaves Retrograde on the 6th and goes direct in your House of Sexuality and Death. Expect your famous libido to help you transcend identity, ego, and obstacles. You Scorpios are super-freaky. You know that, right? On the same day, a new moon supports transformation. You may lose your cool on the 14th when Mars and the Moon align, sparking temper tantrums. It will pass. Your red heart, the star Antares, aligns with lucky Jupiter on the 19th, boosting energy, skill, and strategy. This alignment is associated with big financial involvements, especially corporate, so channel your inner Wolf of Wall Street and try not to get arrested. On the 31st, celebrate the New Year with a four-way planetary alignment: the Moon, Venus, Mercury, and Jupiter fight for your right to party.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

The Archer finally catches a break this month. When Mercury leaves Retrograde in your House of Goals and Aspirations (December 6th), you make headway with a creative project you haven’t had time to dig into. The Moon eclipses Saturn in your sign on the 8th, lending discipline to spiritual pursuits. Meditating is hard. So is complete destruction of the psyche to allow for its purposeful rebuilding. Yes, this is heavy. But on the plus side, an occultation of Saturn is really pretty. Check it out! Your ruling Jupiter aligns with Antares, red heart of the Scorpion, on the 19th, bestowing mad skills to the Archer. Your sign also hosts the Winter Solstice. Celebrate the longest night of the year with intense snuggling and a good California wine. Your ruling planet Jupiter aligns with the Moon, Venus, and Mercury on the 31st. Ring in the New Year with luck, love, and clarity.  

Capricorn (December 22 – January 20)

This month, the Goat flip-flops between fun to be around and total buzzkill, with little in-between moods.  Put on your dancing hooves December 6th. When Mercury leaves Retrograde in your Friendship House, it puts you in a party mood. A new moon on the same day supports professional goals. Success is at hand, but it’s a weird path that leads to big rewards this month. The Moon eclipses your ruling Saturn on the 8th, leaving you somber. Seriousness can be useful if applied strategically. And you will be back to your silly Billy goat self tomorrow.  I told you, flip-flopping. The Moon achieves her greatest distance from the Earth (apogee for you, JPL kids) in your sign on the 12th. This position leads to self-importance, coldness, and austerity, so avoid Grinch-like tendencies. Find fun again on the 31st, when four planets align on the celestial dance floor: The Moon, Venus, Mercury, and Jupiter. Shake your moneymaker with the planets.

Aquarius (January 21 – February 19)

The Water Bearer has a lovely December, Aquarius. On the 6th, Mercury leaves Retrograde and goes Direct in your House of Transcendence. This is a good time to revisit any kooky missteps you took during the Retrograde. If you find any tiresome patterns, why not change the wallpaper? Mars aligns with Neptune in your sign on the 7th, bringing psychic insight. Mars here supports unorthodox approaches to what puzzles you. So, get funky. On the same day, Mars also aligns with the Moon in your sign, causing a mini meltdown. Bad vibes are good teachers. And humility is beautiful. Light a candle in honor of your inner guru. Mars continues to shake it up in your sign on the 14th when it aligns with the Moon, triggering both sad and happy tears. Invest in waterproof mascara. You host the first quarter moon on the 15th and all signs feel sympathy and love for others. The heart, not the head, gives insight that day. And wisdom trumps smarts any day of the week.  

Mercury. Image courtesy of NASA.
Mercury. Image courtesy of NASA.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

Need some good news, Pisces?  Mercury leaves Retrograde. That felt good - let’s say it again: Mercury leaves Retrograde on the 6th, going Direct in the fishes’ House of Solitude. Restore and recharge by hiding from the world. Mars aligns with your ruling Neptune in Aquarius on December 7th, triggering occult powers. Keep them to yourself. Psychic displays make strangers uncomfortable, especially on the Red Line. On the 17th, the Moon aligns with Uranus in your sign, bestowing intuitive flashes and erratic impulses, basically it is a normal Monday for Pisceans. On the 31st, ring in the New Year with starry vibes - the Moon, Venus, Mercury, and Jupiter align, bringing celestial champagne. Drink up.

Ophiuchus (November 29 – December 17)

You know that friend your parents didn’t like in High School? The really fun one? Ophiuchus, you are that friend. The snake bearer cuts-loose this month like a teenage rebel, serving as a bad influence to other signs. You add lunacy to the new moon – your signs hosts it on the 6th – when the whole zodiac says those three little words that precede reckless action: “Hold my beer.” On the same day, Mercury goes Direct in your House of Partnerships. Somebody really loves you. On the 19th, Jupiter aligns with the star Antares, directing savvy financial decisions. Money stress should dissipate. Hard to impress? New Year’s Eve should knock your socks off. Four planets align to usher in a 2019 that celebrates human kindness and luck for the underdog.  

RELATED: The L.A. Taco Horoscope for October, 2018

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