Skip to Content
Books

LICKABLE WALLPAPER BOOK RELEASE PARTY ~ Sat. April 5 ~ Long Beach

2:37 PM PDT on April 4, 2008

"Lickable Wallpaper" is James Gabriel' second self-published work and his 4th novel. Here's an intriguing excerpt from this California Native. For more info on James Gabriel, go to www.lickablewallpaper.net.

"The foot.

The biggest I have ever seen or imagined was held by a few famous basketball players’ whose shoe sizes are on display in a many native sports shrines which I have had the misfortune of wasting hours of my time in. This one dwarfed all of them. It was wrapped in a large black sandal, but the appendage was so wide it spilled around the edges and the base had been squeezed into a puffy cushion of skin framing it with stretch marks as if it were threatening to burst. The owner of that must be extremely heavy I surmised and if this had been the only curiosity I would have returned to my business without a thought, but the toes of this hoof were the most interesting of all.

The big toe of the mammoth pad was like a sausage. It started early and reached out beyond the others and past the tip of the sandal to curl beneath the next toe and a portion of the other. By my word if that failed to strike me on some way, the other toes did it. Each was quite long and knurled with thick nails that came out and curled down, almost as one would imagine a claw. Ideally it had no business displaying itself in a sandal of any type, but it thoroughly escaped me as to what shoe would enclose such a foot. I was suddenly struck by the image that it did not belong to a man, but some sort of troglodytian creature like the Moorlocks from Wells’ Time Machine and it was then that I decided I needed to see what this person looked like, if not learn who he was altogether.

As a result I doubled my efforts to finish my business which was no small task and my straining had me afraid of causing an aneurysm. The foot stepped out of the stall and I heard the sink turn on for a short moment, then off. I quickly wiped and buckled my pants, with a sudden air of thanks when I heard the drone of the hand dryer.

I stepped out."


More Stories

A Letter From Our Staff: Setting the Record Straight

L.A. TACO will never stop covering ICE, immigration, and the attacks on our communities.

October 24, 2026

The Incredible Mercado Gonzalez Opens On the Edge of L.A.

There's a dish for any craving you may have at this puesto-packed concept that features all sorts of regional Mexican eats. And rumors suggest is may be coming to Inglewood next.

October 23, 2026

ICE Watch: Masked Agents Brutalized a Long Beach Man. Then News Outlets Invaded His Privacy

What is the moral line between breaking a story and respecting the privacy of a man who had his arm broken by ICE?

October 22, 2026

Build AskCA: A Unique Resource to Help Californians Navigate Life’s Challenges

AskCA has been created to help Californians through major life events such as starting your own business, finding a job, contacting family services, and disaster recovery.

October 22, 2026

L.A.’s 12 Best Panaderías For Pan De Muerto During Dia De Los Muertos

Los Angeles has the best pan de muerto scene in the country, from sourdough and vegan variations, to recipes that have been passed down through generations. Here are 12 panaderías around L.A. where you can find the fluffy, gently spiced, sugar-dusted pan dulce that is as delicious as it is crucial to the Dia de Muertos Mexican tradition.

October 21, 2026

Why Would Anyone Spend $200 on This Single Cup of Coffee?

Each ticket to the tasting cost $250 and included coffee and water—no food. Plus, a guided tasting by leading coffee expert, creator, and SEY staffer Lance Hendrick.

October 20, 2026