Skip to Content
Books

LICKABLE WALLPAPER BOOK RELEASE PARTY ~ Sat. April 5 ~ Long Beach

lickableresized.jpg

"Lickable Wallpaper" is James Gabriel' second self-published work and his 4th novel. Here's an intriguing excerpt from this California Native. For more info on James Gabriel, go to www.lickablewallpaper.net.

"The foot.

The biggest I have ever seen or imagined was held by a few famous basketball players’ whose shoe sizes are on display in a many native sports shrines which I have had the misfortune of wasting hours of my time in. This one dwarfed all of them. It was wrapped in a large black sandal, but the appendage was so wide it spilled around the edges and the base had been squeezed into a puffy cushion of skin framing it with stretch marks as if it were threatening to burst. The owner of that must be extremely heavy I surmised and if this had been the only curiosity I would have returned to my business without a thought, but the toes of this hoof were the most interesting of all.

The big toe of the mammoth pad was like a sausage. It started early and reached out beyond the others and past the tip of the sandal to curl beneath the next toe and a portion of the other. By my word if that failed to strike me on some way, the other toes did it. Each was quite long and knurled with thick nails that came out and curled down, almost as one would imagine a claw. Ideally it had no business displaying itself in a sandal of any type, but it thoroughly escaped me as to what shoe would enclose such a foot. I was suddenly struck by the image that it did not belong to a man, but some sort of troglodytian creature like the Moorlocks from Wells’ Time Machine and it was then that I decided I needed to see what this person looked like, if not learn who he was altogether.

As a result I doubled my efforts to finish my business which was no small task and my straining had me afraid of causing an aneurysm. The foot stepped out of the stall and I heard the sink turn on for a short moment, then off. I quickly wiped and buckled my pants, with a sudden air of thanks when I heard the drone of the hand dryer.

I stepped out."

jamesgabrielrsz.jpg


Stay in touch

Sign up for our free newsletter

More from L.A. TACO

‘Tacos With a Side of Dope Music:’ A Preview of the DJs Gracing The Stage at TACO MADNESS

Attendees of this weekend have much to look forward to—from behind the turntables to behind the grills, TACO MADNESS promises to bring something for everybody, and the L.A. TACO looks forward to bringing all of the energy, excitement, and culture to La Plaza De Culturas y Artes this Saturday.

What To Eat In L.A. This Weekend: L.A.’s Best Tacos, Tequila, and Stuffed Churros at Our 15th TACO MADNESS

McSatan cheeseburgers, suadero on house-nixtamalized tortillas from one of Mexico's biggest chefs, steak banh mi tacos, and so much more, in one place!

June 14, 2024

The Five Best Tacos in South Gate

From a spot that uses a unique Michoacán-style "salsa agridulce" to a fish taquería where the batter stays crispy, next time you're in SELA, now you know! Southeast Los Angeles, presente!

June 13, 2024

Black Music Month: Five California-Based Baddies Taking Over The Music Industry

From Sacramento to Slauson Hills and Pasadena, these emerging California-raised artists are representing the state's current hip-hop and R&B scenes.

Open Thread: What Is L.A.’s Most Overrated Dish?

Dry donuts you drove an hour for? "Texas-style" tacos you just don't seem to get? That mean Michelin-recognized chef's new place?

See all posts