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The L.A. Taco Horoscope for December

Mercury. Image via NASA.

[dropcap size=big]B[/dropcap]uckle up Angels; you’re in for a bumpy month. December brings a mix of celestial blessings and inconveniences. First the rough stuff: Mercury goes retrograde on the 3rd and stays there until the Winter Solstice burns off the bummer on the 21st. In the interim, expect technological mayhem and travel issues, so triple-check your airline tickets, and expect cars to break down. Mercury Retrograde isn’t all bad though; it’s helpful for collecting yourself, and making plans for 2018. With no fewer than four Moon-Planet alignments this month you can expect emotions to run high. And celestial fireworks lively up the sky on the 13th when the Geminid Meteor Shower radiates good ideas and mental clarity across the zodiac. It should be super-pretty, so go soak up the sparkly groove. Happy Holidays Angels, and be kind to yourselves.

Aries (March 21 – April 20)
Ram, you’re in for a philosophical December. The deep stuff surfaces under a full moon on the 3rd, supercharging your subconscious. You’ll remember that you’re part of the big one-ness. A travel advisory is in effect for all Rams this month; Mercury enters (and leaves) retrograde in your travel quadrant, so please triple check all holiday plans, tickets, etc. and purchase any electronic presents before the 3rd. (Stuff breaks during retrograde.) When your ruling Mars joins the Moon in Virgo (December 13th) strong feelings erupt. Channel that famous temper of yours into action. Righteous anger (the kind that’s not on your own behalf) can be a good thing, so head-butt for others this holiday season.

Taurus (April 21 – May 21)
December spells lunar magic for the bull. Four planets align with the moon this month, first on the 13th when you get a workplace assist from workaholic Mars, then again on the 14th,, when Jupiter joins the luminary in your house of health, providing a much needed physical boost. On December 24th and 27th, Neptune and Uranus join the moon in groovy Aquarius, loosening up that famous stubborn streak of yours. And the Solstice (December 21st) brings transformational energy to the bull. Embrace it; you’re here to tame yourself.

Mercury. Image courtesy of NASA.
Mercury. Image courtesy of NASA.

Gemini (May 22 – June 21)
It’s tiara time for the twins this month, so break out the rhinestones and get ready to party, Gemini. Your ruling Mercury steals the show on the 3rd when it goes retrograde, annoying everyone but you. On the 12th, Mercury aligns with Earth on this side of the sun; you’ll feel an intense social buzz from playing with others. Enjoy! Your best day this month is the 13th, when a meteor shower radiates from your constellation - go outside and look into your own brilliant mind. December skies make a gorgeous backdrop for your mental sparkles.

Cancer (June 22 – July 22)
Water signs see waterworks this month, so stock up on tissues, Crab. The good news is that a lot of the tears will be the happy kind, so go on with your crybaby self - you’re among friends. Under a full Moon in Aquarius on the 3rd, you’ll feel an enhanced capacity to sympathize with humanity. At the end of the month, the Moon aligns with Neptune and Uranus (December 24th and 27th, respectively) enhancing your intuition. And watch for Mercury retrograde (December 3rd – 22nd) in your relationship house, but don’t misgivings too seriously. A little mental back and forth is natural; let it ebb and flow like tides in the sea.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)
It’s party time for the kitty this December, Leo, especially on the 21st when your ruling Sun gets as close as it can to the earth for the Winter Solstice. (Science geeks call it perihelion.) You’ll feel the glow in the workplace - a nice change of pace after Mercury goes retrograde in that sector from the 3rd to the 22nd. Need more good news? On the 14th, Jupiter brings its luck to your community house – a good day for a party. And on the 13th, the Geminid meteor shower supercharges friendships, bringing purrs to the kitty.

Mars. Image courtesy our friends at NASA.
Mars. Image courtesy NASA.

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)
Get ready to be the belle of December, Virgo. When a meteor shower lights up your status sector (December 13th) you’ll be Miss America of the zodiac. On the same day, Mars joins the Moon in your sign. Your inner self is best expressed in writing on that date, so use your words, darling. The retrograde (December 3rd – 22nd) hits your health zone - be patient with any physical problems, they will improve before the holidays. (You have a lot in common with Gemini this month so read that casting, too.) And the Winter Solstice (December 21st) illuminates your well-being sector, giving you the groove you need to wrap up 2017 with a pretty little bow.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)
Generous Libra, your scales tip for everybody this month. Thank you! You’ll be valued by others on the 13th, when the meteor shower sparkles in your status arena. On the 14th, Jupiter joins the Moon in your house of self, supercharging your concern for humanity and favoring love for others. Speaking of love, the retrograde Mercury (December 3rd – 22nd) sits in your romance house and seems to sap your creativity, but it’s an illusion. Be patient, the solstice will burn off the bummer on the 21st. Here comes the sun.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)
Were you naughty in November, Scorpion? Because December offers you some second chances. On the 13th, a Jupiter-Moon pairing in your subconscious sector assists karmic work. And when your ruling Mars lands in your friendship house on the 14th, you’ll be sappy and grateful for pals. Be careful with words though- Mercury retrograde torpedoes your communication skills this month- especially when it comes to family. Avoid emotional minefields this holiday season. The Solstice on the 21st will liberate you from an emotional crack the whip. And at the end of the month (December 24th and 27th) the moon gets frisky in that hippy sign Aquarius - don’t loosen up too much though, impulsive behavior can backfire (especially in the workplace).

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)
Happy Holidays, Archer! As a present to you, your ruling Jupiter supercharges your emotional well-being on the 13th. Feel the love! The retrograde Mercury (December 3–22nd) sits in Sagittarius, hitting your sense of self. You may feel like a stranger to yourself, but ride it out, dropping the ego can be empowering! On the 12th, you’ll feel philosophical when Mercury joins Earth this side of the Sun. Ponder the deep stuff, and gather karmic energy with a new moon on the 17th. Are you holding back? Let that Sagittarian heart out. And celebrate solar love on the 21st, the longest night of the year in the Northern hemisphere.

Geminid Meteor Shower. Image via Jeff Dai.
Geminid Meteor Shower. Image via Jeff Dai.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 20)
Capricorn goes deep this December – both Mercury Retrograde and the Solstice happen in your subconscious arena. For an emotional rescue, enjoy the Jupiter-Moon pairing in your career and status corridor on the 14th (and the Geminid Meteor Shower adds sparkle to partnerships on the same day). Take advantage of the new moon on the 17th in your community house by starting something new. You’ll have a tremendous Solstice (December 21st) when your ruling Saturn aligns with the sun in handsome Sagittarius, charging you up for another dynamic year.

Aquarius (January 21 – February 19)
You’re extra intuitive this month, Water Bearer. The full moon on the 3rd supercharges your sense of self, and two Moon-Planet alignments (wacky Neptune on the 24th and impulsive Uranus on the 27th) will keep you extra psychic. Use the force, and use it kindly. By the way, that Mercury Retrograde sits in your friendship and community sector. Just because it's the holidays doesn’t mean you can’t stay home- sometimes it’s safer. (Be hip and call it hygge time.) Enjoy the meteor shower on the 13th by celebrating good health. It s the best present under the tree this year.

Brand new colorized image of Jupiter. Image Credits: NASA/JPL-Caltech/SwRI/MSSS/Gerald Eichstädt/ Seán Doran
Colorized image of Jupiter. Image Credits: NASA/JPL-Caltech/SwRI/MSSS/Gerald Eichstädt/ Seán Doran

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)
Fish, your special planets (Jupiter and Neptune) align with the moon this month- in your income house on the 14th (thank Goddess) and again on Christmas Eve when your psychic powers will be super strong. Your suspicions are correct - be polite but don’t take any shit. Mercury retrograde sits right in your career house (Dec 3rd – 22nd). If your status feels bruised, the Sun’s Solstice will kiss it better on the 21st. Need a break from it all? Enjoy the pretty meteor shower on the 13th (straight outta Gemini) in your house of creativity and love. And what’s more Piscean than love?

Ophiuchus (November 29 – December 17)
Since snake handling is your thing, Ophiuchus, you’re well poised to handle the whims of retrograde Mercury. Sure, you’ll have a passing case of disgusted and busted this December, but redemption comes with the Winter Solstice on the 21st. The Geminid Meteor shower (December 13th) bestows grace and transformation across the zodiac, and you’ll enjoy good karma the next day too (December 14th) when lucky Jupiter gooses the Moon, bestowing luck and love to you.

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